As everyone knows.. im pregnant! I shouldn't even be prego anymore.. My due date was the 27th of October. Yes everyone.. that was a week ago. I get induced on Friday. I literally feel like I have been pregnant forever. Well 9 months is a really long time. I was talking to Sean last night about how its never again gonna be just Shay and Sean. Which is the most exciting but scary thing to think of. Of course when I first found out that I was pregnant I wasn't surprised... But I was really excited. YES I did cry... a lot. And I think the most scary thing was telling my dad (who at the time was in Hawaii on his honeymoon when I found out I was pregnant. So you can only imagine how shocking it was for the newlywed couple to come home and find out they were gonna be grandparents). Who know is bugging me everyday about when I'm gonna give birth. He can't wait to be a grandpa. But Sean took it how I thought he would.. he was SO excited.
Don't get my wrong.. Sean and I struggled a lot in the beginning. About whether or not we should get married, if I should move to Bountiful or if he should move closer to me. Lots of tears, frustration, yelling and emotion. Obviously we came to the decision of getting married, which was the BEST decision in the world!! I wish we would have gotten married earlier.
This pregnancy has changed me a lot, for the better. It has been one of the hardest most amazing things I have ever gone through. I was so sick in the beginning. I got Hyperemesis Gravidarum which is SEVERE morning sickness. I los 10lbs in a week! I couldn't even drink water. I would let water sit in my mouth then spit it out because it would make me sick. I had to get hooked up to IVs over and over again. I have never been so sick in my life. After about mmm..... 18 weeks I started to feel better. Right around the time I moved from Cedar Hills to Riverton.
Being pregnant has forced me into loving myself for who I am. For those of you who know me (not even very well) you know I'm a tanaholic. I went tanning at LEAST once a week every week for years and years and years. Honestly when I found out I was pregnant the first thing I thought of was "No... more... tanning..." It was really hard for me. I felt like being tan was a part of who I was, it's what people knew me for.. my "gorgeous tan". And now I'm pale, 45lbs heavier(yes I did gain that much), stretch marks, dull hair color, yellow teeth (not really.. i say that just because I haven't been able to bleach them :( ), and now a week past my due date. But I look in the mirror sill in love with who I am because I may not be as "beautiful" anymore. But I am bringing a beautiful baby into this world. It has been a really powerful learning experience for me.
While being pregnant is a huge learning experience, being married is an even bigger one. Everyone says you don't know someone until you move in with them.... it's true yes, but I love Sean even more now. Of course he does lots of little things that bug me, sleeps with socks on, lays in bed in his work clothes, x box..... But at the same time... Wow I wouldn't be able to live without him. I am so blessed. He tells me all the time how gorgeous I still am stretch marks and all. He has never made me feel self conscious about how I look. Every time I look in the mirror and get upset he tells me he is gonna break the mirror if I don't stop. Wow did I luck out with my husband. Not only is he gorgeous (and providing me with a gorgeous daughter) he is strong, powerful, spiritual, loving, caring, hard working, amazing kisser and.. well ya know ;) and will kick anyone's ass who ever hurt me. We do make a beautiful, perfect couple if I do say so myself :)Now all that we are missing is our gorgeous little girl to come into our family. I know together Sean and I will be amazing parents. I know things are gonna get hard, but so worth it.
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ReplyDeleteYAY! You're a blogger! Welcome to the cyber world :). I am SO happy you have Sean and Payton who will be here any day! I'm so excited for you Shay. You will be a wonderful mother.
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